January 22nd, 2013
You are blinded. I lay here before you, dying. My life force is exhausted. You dream of burying me, and you cannot see it is so.
You are a monster. A demon that cannot be reasoned with. Your venom holds no will over my soul, yet the pain is still there. The hurt in my heart, bleeds. My body is weakened, and my strength is waning
I cannot be your savior. I have to save myself. Your darkness is not mine to right any longer.
I deserve peace. I deserve a warm touch. I deserve comfort when I am lost.
What would my father think? My mother? I want to take care of you forever, but not at the expense of my life.
You have a choice. I cannot force you to do anything, you have to make it so.
The way I see it, you have no respect for me. The venom you spew could break most people. Not me. Not ever. But I am weak, and heartbroken. I do not believe the lies, but I know the truth.
I am supposed yo be your best friend, lover, and partner. I not your emotional/physical punching bag.
Our bed is supposed to be a sanctuary. Not a pit of hell. I have given you too many chances. You do not take me seriously. If you want to be with me, you have to do rehab, or you have to quit drinking/drugs. Or you could think of me and let me go, and realize when you are not fit to be by my side.
Did I wrong you in a past life? Those things you say, you must believe to be the truth. Why should I be with a man who thinks such things of me? I am not your enemy.
There is not another. It is not about that. It is about me. How do I stay alive? I have already grieved. You must let me go. I am not good enough for you. If I was everything to you, you would not hurt me.
It is selfish of us to continue this way.
I have already slipped away. I am letting go. Pain has replaced healing. Dark memories have replaced the happiness I used to see in your eyes.
You need to heal yourself. I cannot do it all.
You had me in your grasp.